Shorty’s: Madhouse Bathroom!

shortysmadnessShorty’s has been a punk Belltown haven for years now.  Kickass pinball tables to eat and drink on, great pinball (Medieval Madness always has sharks waiting for next game), classic Hot Dog menu with veggie dogs even, and boozy slushies that have a kick!   Great place to see the freaks on a late night!

The Bathrooms maintain the carnival madhouse theme and even include a nasty port-a-potty scent.  It’s as grimey as a bathroom can come: pungent and dirty. On the positive side it’s well stocked everytime I’ve been there!   Graffiti has taken over all areas to add to the charm. The best part about this bathroom is the pumped in carnival music to help you get in the mood!  The feeling that scary clowns might enter at any second is present!

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The swinging bathroom door gives just enough privacy to do one’s business and lets the walker byes get a small glipse of the users back! shortysdoorshortysswing

This long time Seattle punk institution makes for a great divey stop in Belltown!   shortystoiletsshortystoilet

Cleanliness: 1 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 3 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 1 out of 5 toilets

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Canon: The Bathroom Bar Has Been Set

Canon: The Bathroom Bar Has Been Set

There is no bathroom like this one in Seattle, and would be amongst the best National bathrooms lids down! Canon has set the standard. Canon is already amongst the classiest of bars in the Jet City with a elite bar staff and the classiest drinks.
But now the bathrooms at Canon are slick, brilliant and entertaining. Decorated with fancy liquor bottles in great cages.
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Upon entering the bathroom, your presence triggers an old fashioned decorated speaker playing classic radio talkies. Old Ghost stories or the Postman Only Rings Twice crackling just like it would in the 20’s. You might just be enticed to staying in the can a little longer! 20130923-193625.jpg

The Herbfarm: Is the toilet paper 100 miles sourced?

The Herbfarm: Is the toilet paper 100 miles sourced?

photo (4)The Herbfarm’s bathrooms take a smaller version of Mulleady’s urinal and swank up the bathroom like only a $250 plate can afford.  Every ounce of this bathroom is curated and balanced to continue the swanky experience from head to toe once you enter the Herbfarm.  This restaurant serves up some of the fanciest food in the Seattle area with a theme for the night.  My night’s theme was the 100 Miles, with every ingrediant (including the grapes/flour/salt/pepper) being within the 100 mile diameter of the Herbfarm.  I was hoping to see that yes, even the toilet paper was 100 miles sourced!.

Great toilets, decor, smells and feels deliver the exquisite experience.  One of the best out there!

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Cleanliness: 5 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 5 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 5 out of 5 toilets

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Linda’s Tavern: The Secret Bathroom

Linda’s Tavern: The Secret Bathroom

lindas1Linda’s Tavern is classic Seattle. Great staff, cheap drinks and fun clientele always.  The food is a greasy spoon, and there are few places better to sit on the outside patio in Seattle taking in the hipster elite, and realizing this bar was the last place Kurt Cobain stopped at before his tragic ending.

On another note, the bathrooms:   Linda’s most used bathroom are pretty scary.  The Men’s room has a half broken swinging door that gives all passerby’s a perfect view of what is going on inside.  Ever wanted to get a sneak peak of your friend’s junk?  Just wait til they go to the can and be a creepy peeping tom in the bathroom.  The men’s room is very dirty and left to the use of drunk hipsters who don’t mind it.  The urinals are dirty and loaded with the latest grind core stickers. I just wonder who is ballsy enough to put those stickers on the urinals.  The stall and toilet would be passable for someone to sit on, if the previous users hadn’t used the seat for extra target practice of their pee.  It is always caked in pee when I go in there.

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Which leads us to the Secret bathroom at Linda’s.  This one is located near the kitchen in a bit of a hidden space.  This bathroom is always useful if one needs a clean respite from the horrors of scary bathrooms, or if you need to hit that #2 (Who do you work for #2?).  Some great old fashioned gas station looking sinks and garbage cans give it a tiny bit of flair, but mainly this bathroom scores points, as it is so much better than the most used restrooms them have.

 

 

The Hurricane: Holy WTF?

The Hurricane: Holy WTF?

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I’ve yet to find a more dumpy bathroom in any Seattle establishment (seen worse in Tijuana, China,  India and Florida). There was no door, boxes to crawl over, exposed wall and pipes everywhere.  The sink wasn’t working on this particular day, and the toilet was gnarly.  One can imagine what lives in here when it gets slow at night.  The stench was horrible.  One would think with the quality of food served at the Hurricane, the bathroom would be kept well with all the use it gets.  This is one to stay away from hell.  It is indeed “Unique”!

Cleanliness:  1 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 2 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 3 out of 5 toilets

Smell:   1 out of 5 toilets

Redwood: Shooting practice in the bathroom!

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The bathrooms at The Redwood add a great touch to the hunting style dive bar.  After you’ve had enough peanuts and tossed the shells on the ground, hit the can at the Redwood for target practice.  The walls are covered with animal prints from shooting galleries and the wooden panels continue the bars theme.  The great 60’s-tastic sink and fixtures make this bathroom even memorable after a bender.  This is one of my favorite bathrooms in Seattle.  Divey, but intended! Hipster indeed.  There are two bathrooms in this bar, and both have their different décor.

Ratings:

Cleanliness:  3 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 4  out of 5 toilets

Smell:   4 out of 5 toilets

8 Oz. Burgers: Pee in a Keg

The bathroom at 8 Oz. Burgers on Capitol Hill always pleases!  It’s rustic, but clean and features a keg done turned into a urinal!   The bathroom art reminds of you of the tasty food you’ll be filling yourself with.  The only thing I would add would be throwing some ice into the keg urinal, as this is every man’s pleasure!  Melting the ice! Great chalk art if you want to get personal and artistic after you’ve washed your hands!

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Ratings:

Cleanliness:  4 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 4  out of 5 toilets