Tommy Gun: Doctors Appointments Encouraged

Tommy Gun is a Capitol Hill hide out with a great hideout vibe. Running with the gangster/speakeasy vibe, the bathroom has an interesting chalk board that can lead to some good laughs! Bartenders are good conversationalists with a good hand on conjuring up and special drink requests you may need!

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The bathrooms set the table with an amazing door.  Very heavy, thick wood with a great pattern carved into it.  The walls are freshly painted, and the bathroom was stocked, clean and neat.  On the wall is a huge classic Doctors Appointment Chalkboard. Candles to keep the mood lighting and scent fresh.   Some great appointments are sure to be had in this restroom.  The hallway is lined with some great Capone photos to remind you of the beaut that Al was.

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Cleanliness: 4 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 3 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 5 out of 5 toilets

Witness: WC’s of Southern Comfort & Charm

Witness: WC’s Southern Comfort & Charm

This newish Broadway bar has delivered great times every visit! Drinks are Southern kitsch with their Libations menu! The decor is classic, clean Southern church themed, and the bar staff are classy, talented and well dressed. The head bartender leads a passionate sermon at 10pm on Saturday nights! Be there for good times!

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The Water Closets are fine tuned!

Nice thick, solid doors! Great cement floor. Rustic shelves with old Southern furniture. Baskets of towels. Classic soap dispensers. Divine paintings referencing Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam and classic cock paintings fit into Cap. Hill quite well. Very pleasant experience, and well stocked! The posters outside the restroom with Sir Frederick Douglas will entertain if there is a line. This is where you’d bring Frank Underwood when he visits Seattle.

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Cleanliness: 4 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 4 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 5 out of 5 toilets

Tractor Tavern: Troughs and Tightfits.

Tractor Tavern: Troughs and Tightfits.

Tractor Tavern in Ballard is one of the few timeless places left in Old Ballard. Shows there are always smiled upon. Good divey atmosphere, great stage, above mediocre sound and a good shady bathroom! The welcoming GENTLEMEN sign warms you up!

It’s a graffitied mess in the restroom. A classic trough that fits two comfortably. A stall is available, with a ton of interesting nooks and crevices on the ceiling. The boarded up walls fit right in!

My buddy Tim and I were reviewing and photographing the scene. We had our first model opt out of being included in the shoot. He objected to a photo of the back of his shirt being used while he was trough filling. Tim stated, “He is a proud member of the small member club. Give him a break.”

The Tractors toilets were good and trashy. Smelly in a good divey way. The bathroom is compact, and keeps with the theme of a no frills rock bar. I need to get my bands stickers up on the walls!

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Cleanliness: 2 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 3 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 4 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 2 out of 5 toilets

Nitelite Lounge: Classic Old and Dirty! They have troughs!

Nitelite Lounge: Classic Old and Dirty! They have troughs!

Nitelite Lounge: Classic Old and Dirty!

There are no places in Seattle that are known to have a stiffer beverage than the Nitelite.  This dive bar has been pouring heavy for ages, and doing it with the classic bad attitude it’s had for ages.  The Nitelite makes missing the openers for your show at the Moore worth it!  Slam a quick drink or two, and you are all set!  Great to see they decorate Eddie from Iron Maiden for the holidays! The bartenders here have the attitude you’d want in such a lovely place! They will also remind you (maybe in a not so friendly way) that it is cash only! 

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The bathrooms at Nitelite hold that classic dive-tastic feeling as well!  Anyplace with a trough always gets right to my heart!  The floors are an odd good olde linoleum, and the walls are graffiti filled, and the bathroom has a strong odor that reminds you that you are indeed in a grunge, divey bathroom from the 1910’s. 

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Cleanliness: 2 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 3 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 2 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 1 out of 5 toilets

The Crocodile: Of Rockstars and Territorial Pissings

The Crocodile: Of Rockstars and Territorial Pissings

The Crocodile: Rockstar and Territorial Pissings

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The Croc has earned its stars and has finally settled as a great slightly larger than intimate place to see a show! The renovations look, feel and sound great.  The charm and nuances of the previously layout are missed, but these improvements turn it into a proper venue.  The old meny was pretty great, and the Via Trib pizza is tasty!

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It’s easy to find conversation in the unisex bathroom waiting room.  Last time I was there, I got to hear some good pickup lines by a dude that must have just read The Game.  He was all over it.  The Croc has Rock’n’Roll history, and the pictures of classic grunge and Seattle acts are all over the walls, with the Courtney Love rear end photo right by the nice marble trough style  watering hole/hand washing sink! crocsink2

Toilets are seperate stalls and were well kept, sparkling clean and stocked!

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Cleanliness: 5 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 3 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 4 out of 5 toilets

Shorty’s: Madhouse Bathroom!

shortysmadnessShorty’s has been a punk Belltown haven for years now.  Kickass pinball tables to eat and drink on, great pinball (Medieval Madness always has sharks waiting for next game), classic Hot Dog menu with veggie dogs even, and boozy slushies that have a kick!   Great place to see the freaks on a late night!

The Bathrooms maintain the carnival madhouse theme and even include a nasty port-a-potty scent.  It’s as grimey as a bathroom can come: pungent and dirty. On the positive side it’s well stocked everytime I’ve been there!   Graffiti has taken over all areas to add to the charm. The best part about this bathroom is the pumped in carnival music to help you get in the mood!  The feeling that scary clowns might enter at any second is present!

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The swinging bathroom door gives just enough privacy to do one’s business and lets the walker byes get a small glipse of the users back! shortysdoorshortysswing

This long time Seattle punk institution makes for a great divey stop in Belltown!   shortystoiletsshortystoilet

Cleanliness: 1 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 3 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 1 out of 5 toilets

The 5 Point: View of the Needle, even while going #1

The 5 Point: View of the Needle, even while going #1

There isn’t a tour of Seattle’s bathrooms without a stop at the famous 5 Point and their periscope which gives you a view of the Space Needle while your going number 1.

The 5 Point is known for it’s greasy spoon, quick sassy service, it’s ultra divey and funny décor, and always stiff drinks! PRO TIP: Make bumbershoot cheaper by hitting the 5 Point for breakfast before you hit the concerts.  The bathroom was 50’s kitsch divey with great clean baby blue tiles.  A rustic old fashioned urinal that has been there since day one, assumedly.  The view from the periscope was a bit murky, but it’s a great touch.  Nice that they even have some hand written text to let you know what your are looking at!

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Cleanliness: 3 out of 5 toilets

Stocked: 5 out of 5 toilets

Unique: 4 out of 5 toilets

Smell: 4 out of 5 toilets